In a world obsessed with numbers—GPA, SAT scores, class rankings—it’s easy to believe that intelligence is a purely academic pursuit, measured by how well we solve equations or analyze literature. Yet beneath the surface of every high achiever, every effective leader, every truly fulfilled individual, there exists a different kind of intelligence—one that cannot be quantified as easily—but is perhaps even more critical: emotional intelligence. The Harvard Business School defines it as “ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you.” 

 

It is the difference between reacting and responding, as well as between conflict and resolution. In an era of constant stress, digital overload, and increasing social disconnection, mastering emotional intelligence is more essential than ever.

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Contrary to popular belief, emotional intelligence is not just about being “nice” or “sensitive.” It has a deeply biological foundation. Forbes reported that neuroscientists found that the brain’s limbic system, in charge of emotions, interacts constantly with the prefrontal cortex, the region responsible for decision-making and rational thought. 

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When we lack emotional regulation, the amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—hijacks our thinking, triggering impulsive reactions instead of thoughtful responses. This means that a student who panics after a poor test grade, spirals into self-doubt, and loses motivation is experiencing low emotional intelligence. On the other hand, a student who acknowledges their disappointment and seeks feedback from teachers demonstrates a high level of emotional awareness and resilience—key predictors of future success.

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Additionally, unlike IQ, which tends to plateau after adolescence, emotional intelligence can be cultivated over a lifetime.  Paul Lopes, professor of sociology and Africana and Latin American studies, states that it is a defining trait of great leaders; from Abraham Lincoln—whose ability to empathize with his political opponents helped preserve a broken nation—to contemporary CEOs, whose ability to foster collaboration often determines the fate of billion-dollar companies, have tested high in emotional intelligence. 

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A study published in The Journal of Organizational Behavior found that employees with high emotional intelligence outperformed their technically skilled but emotionally inept peers in leadership roles. In the business world, this translates to promotions and long-term career stability. However, in everyday life, this translates to navigating conflicts and adapting to change—qualities that are arguably more valuable than any test score.

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Emotional intelligence is key to improving and maintaining strong relations with others as well. Dykstra from Tylandale University provides the example where, if a friend seems distant, someone with high EQ might notice subtle changes in their tone or behavior and check in with them instead of assuming the worst. It also helps during conflicts—rather than snapping at a friend for canceling plans at the last minute, someone with strong emotional intelligence might take a step back and consider if they’re going through something. 

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EQ also builds trust and deepens connections because it encourages honesty and vulnerability, says Southern New Hampshire University. Ultimately, in relationships, being able to express emotions openly and listen with empathy prevents misunderstandings and strengthens bonds. Whether it’s knowing when to give space, offering the right kind of support, or just being aware of how your words and actions affect others, emotional intelligence is what makes relationships last.

 

Works Cited

Dykstra, M. (2020). Emotional intelligence and Relationship Quality. Tyndale University. https://digitalcollections.tyndale.ca/handle/20.500.12730/2254 

Landry, L. (2019, April 3). Why Emotional Intelligence Is Important In Leadership. Harvard Business School. https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership 

Lopes, P. N. (2016). Emotional Intelligence in Organizations: Bridging Research and Practice. Emotion Review, 8(4), 316-321. https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073916650496

Mark, A. (2024, July 10). EQ: What is it and Why does it matter?. Southern New Hampshire University. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/career/emotional-intelligence 

Tait, B. (2024, August 12). Understanding The Neuroscience Behind Emotional Intelligence. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2020/04/22/understanding-the-neuroscience-behind-emotional-intelligence/